|Choices of Strength and Healing
|Positions of Defeat
|To choose life.
|To consider death as an option.
|To have deep inner reasons to live.
|To simply exist or look to others for reasons to live.
|To find safety if suicidal feelings are not controllable.
|To look to others to magically stop suicidal feelings.
|To hunger for truth, despite the pain, for freedom.
|To run from truth and hope for healing without pain.
|To take charge of one’s memory work.
|To delegate memory work to therapists or others.
|To be a loving parent to one’s child parts.
|To seek an external caregiver for one’s child parts.
|To be determined to love oneself.
|To give into feelings of unworthiness or defilement.
|To defeat fear (except truly self-protective fear).
|To allow life choices to be fear-driven.
|To defeat anger (except truly self-protective anger).
|To displace anger onto others or let inner parts do so.
|To choose sex only in true, healthy relationships.
|To allow parts to sexually act out or be victimized.
|To discover and process the trauma that causes parts to want to act out destructively or self-destructively.
|To allow parts to be destructive or self-destructive.
|To be a thriver, to have an internal locus of control.
|To be a victim, to have an external locus of control.
|To be the leader of one’s healing team.
|To want, expect, or demand that others lead.
|To connect with others, to have close relationships.
|To be kind and considerate of helpers and loved ones.
|To relate to others as if they are not doing enough.
|To be financially self-sufficient, or work toward this.
|To expect others to take responsibility for one’s life.
|To lead. To have a mission to help others.
|To be childlike, to look for others to be caretakers.
|Integration (or preserving a few co-conscious parts).
|To let dissociated parts take executive control.
|To be spiritually centered.
|To have a weak spiritual foundation.